something golden

8/31/2023

on knowing what you want, and not allowing yourself to have it

spring to summer to early fall.
the trees on the riverbank slightly tinged
with gold. the trail of my fingers like leaves
through the sunlight.

I am searching for something golden.

a can with the lid cracked open.
one foot on the shore, one foot in the river;
fear of current, bridges I can't cross.
my hands, closing on something I want, but
cannot allow myself to have—

something golden

a name. two syllables I cannot quite
pronounce.

I am searching for something golden.

a weak muscle. the press of fingers on
a frayed nerve. the affection, unexpected,
from my mother. the admission: I would not
know what to do with—

something golden

connection, to myself, to others.
love, from myself, from others.